Some People Just Don’t Get It!
Having a child living with ADHD can be a challenge but also can be rewarding. However, one of the biggest challenges is people just not ‘getting’ ADHD.
There are many people out there that just believe ADHD can be ‘cured’ by a good smack.
I recently saw a post on a Facebook group from a mother quite clearly at her wits end with her child asking for a referral from someone that would help with the behaviour issue that was occurring for her child. She even asked for no judgement.
Firstly, why should she have to ask for no judgement? That comment alone makes me sad. This mother was clearly looking for assistance with her child. If someone is going to judge something, lets judge that this mother is taking the time to help her child. NOT the fact that this child has a behaviour problem.
Secondly, it shows exactly why this parent felt they had to ask for no judgement because someone that I frankly call an uneducated idiot put up a photo of a wooden spoon and left their comment at that.
I was appalled and I immediately emailed the admin of this group and asked for that picture to be removed. I sincerely hope that the mother asking for help didn’t see this before it was removed.
How dare this person post this picture that could be taken a number of ways such as:
Indicating that the mother doesn’t know how to discipline her child properly
Indicating that this mother wants to hit her child, which we all know does not work with a child living with ADHD.
Indicating that true behaviour issues do not exist and are fixed with a punishment that is not suitable.
Indicating that although this child may even have a mental illness it can be fixed with using force.
This quick judgment of other parents has to stop, we don’t know the history, this mother could have already tried other things for all we know and the behaviour therapist was the next step for her.
Of course this judging doesn’t happen for ADHD only, it happens for everything but I would like to suggest some tips on how to we can help people understand the truth behind ADHD.
Talk to as many people as possible about ADHD.
Don’t get stuck on the bad side of ADHD, equally talk about the great traits. You can find them if you really look. Think about how dedicated these kids can be about something if it holds their interest.
They can be fantastic sportsmen if they have the passion to put towards a sport – we know they have the energy.
Constantly tell our children that we are proud of them, that we love them, catch them doing something right/good build their confidence. Goodness knows society will tear that down in a heartbeat sometimes so we must be the ones to keep it up.
Educate people. If you hear someone talking about ADHD and it isn’t true, please correct them. The more people that understand ADHD for it’s true form will make is easier in general for parents of ADHD children and the children themselves.
Just remember that you are doing the best job you can do at this time and what other people think shouldn’t matter. The more attention we are able to draw to ADHD will benefit anyone affected by it in the long run.
If you want more information on how to work with your ADHD child feel free to contact Paula at firstname.lastname@example.org
Paula is an ADHD coach, parent advocate and author who is passionate about helping parents with their children living with ADHD and changing society’s opinion on ADHD. Paula is available for speaking events also.
Tagged ADD, ADHD, Judgement, support